Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Scrubby & Lloyds

i never followed up on that promised blog... and ive been doing a lot lately. ive got plenty to catch up on. i am no longer a university student (in either continent), i went to paris (painted, loved new friends, etc)... and im about to go back to living with my backpack. goodbyes are hard. my heart is tired today.
i was thinking about san luis obispo people today. we are weird. i mean, i talk to nyu kids and they dont really get me the way people do in san luis obispo. we dont do "the grind" too well out there. as an example, here are some of my good friends:
casy - livin in nashville
sierrha - always hatchin something new
jon & beth - livin in illinois
erin - makin plans to head to seattle
anicia and drew - i know you guys think about it... probably every day
dan griv - philly
my mom - always jealous of me and ready to go 

i dont know.. i mean, i dont even really know where all my san luis obispo friends are. they scatter and spread like folks from the valley. but when we talk about san luis, it is heaven (an obvious separation from bako or the like). right? i mean... i spend half my life making a case for san luis obispo being the best city there could possibly be, and the other half of my life i spend figuring out where im headed next. what is it? what makes us san luis kids end up in the appalachians, in the rough neighborhoods of northeastern cities or out in the nowhere-towns of middle america.... and all the while, we sit spinning tales of our home. it's like this new sort of slo-evangelism, all the zeal but none of the confidence of why we left. at the least, i sure dont know why i've said so many goodbyes (if someone else gets it, tell me). for now, i am guessing that's the legacy which has been left to us by kerouac, miller, steinbeck and all the vibe falling down from frisco. it could be the ocean breeze; just thinking of that cayucus breeze on a sunny day draws me north up the 1. we are weird. . so discontentedly disappointed with what we do not know, and so over sufficiently curious to not allow ourselves to be appeased in apathy. maybe my thoughts are not for all the folks from san luis, but they make me think about the ones i care deepest for.
if any of you have thoughts, write them so we can talk about how weird we are. also, i forgot to add paul to the list. paul, you are an odd exception. you love atascadero (few people can claim that)... but i think you still didnt manage to escape the san luis fire that get's people moving. that's why we canoed together in north carolina, why you can say (with extreme passion), "i hate arkansas; it is the devil's wasteland," and maybe that's why you went on some random solo road trip up north. and paul, i dont think you are finished.
sierra, please talk. 'ol jack, jean wants to hear your thoughts. drew, i dont think i know anyone who has explored more of the county than you. you have a family in san luis, work, life... thing that are not easy to move, but i cant help thinking about how youve walked the tracks near the grade, climbed obscure hills, and breathed big sur. you also got the slo itch. you an anicia both; i am already sure about her.
so, i want to hear your thoughts, friends. not saying we got to do anything about it... itd just be nice to know how some other people in the world think the thoughts goin on in my head.

who can tell me why i chose that title? 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Jeff, my brother--I get it. I get what your saying that is. I don't have a darn clue why either. I hate Illinois. I hate it. I love it though--I love seeing so much green, I love having a slight humidity to the air, I love seeing all the beautiful agriculture, and I love being somewhere else. I would give all this up so easily if I didn't have a reason to be here though, just to go back home.
    Weird because I was so bored at home. I was restless. It made me sad too because I knew that even if I stayed everyone else was going to leave...I hate being left behind...
    It's like---we didn't do anything in SLO that I can't do here--but the people, our friends, are different than others. So unique. That's what makes it great. That is what makes it rare. So many different artists so much passion, so many people that are secure in who they are it is so refreshing...apparently that is hard to find.

    One day i will go back there. When i decide to have a family. I think eventually we will all be back there, most of us anyways.

    Back home is heaven and hell.....